


And Yet the Stars Never Cease to Observe

by Teharissa



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Friendship/Love, Gen, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, M/M, Nature, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:35:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21715435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teharissa/pseuds/Teharissa
Summary: Sometimes, when Lukas was left alone, he’d sit outside and look at the stars. Generally, snow would still layer the ground and leave the air with this cold permeating it, but still, Lukas would don a simple winter jacket, and walk out into the forest behind his house.Tonight, he succumbed to another one of his habits.He’d talk to the stars.It always felt silly, especially when he began. But it was comforting. Safe. He’d always felt better talking to the stars about things personal to him, maybe because the stars held no judgment towards him, and withheld not a moment of attention. They were constant, looking down on him, without a thought to the origin nor emotion of his problems.Lukas talks to the stars, sometimes. But the stars are cold onlookers, harsh in their neutrality. Matthias's phone call is lighter, happier. Something about Matthias's voice in the quiet of the night makes everything feel slightly better.
Relationships: Denmark & Norway (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway, Denmark/Norway (Hetalia)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	And Yet the Stars Never Cease to Observe

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Hetalia.

Sometimes, when Lukas was left alone, he’d sit outside and look at the stars. Generally, snow would still layer the ground and leave the air with this cold permeating it, but still, Lukas would don a simple winter jacket, and walk out into the forest behind his house.

He could live somewhere closer to the capital. Most countries did--most lived inside their capital. But he’d never liked the business of cities. It was too loud, chaotic. Lukas had always felt more attached to the earth, to the land around him--though perhaps that was because that land was, indeed, him. Nonetheless, he felt comfortable in nature, far from any other sort of humanity, with only his phone to communicate to his boss at any given moment.

And so, on nights such as this, when he wasn’t visiting the capital, or visiting the other Nordics, he’d sit a distance away from his house. He’d look up at the stars from beneath that of the trees surrounding him, he’d look at the smear of glimmering white lights that he was quick to compare to flakes of snow in the air. Stars were like snow, he thought. Beautiful, yet fleeting. He drew his legs closer to him--he’d found a good spot for sitting on nights such as these. Rarely did enough snow gather here to really bother him, so he’d ignore the faint cold wetness that was there when he’d sit, and he’d simply enjoy the nature around him.

Tonight, he succumbed to another one of his habits.

He’d talk to the stars.

It always felt silly, especially when he began. But it was comforting. Safe. He’d always felt better talking to the stars about things personal to him, maybe because the stars held no judgment towards him, and withheld not a moment of attention. They were constant, looking down on him, without a thought to the origin nor emotion of his problems. 

“Do you ever feel alone?” Lukas began, flushing despite his apparent lack of company. Technically, he was talking to air. Technically, no one could hear him. The first words always felt the most embarrassing, but still, he continued. “I distance myself willingly, but still, I can’t help sometimes feeling that...maybe I shouldn’t. It’s not like I ever stop though. It’s a habit, it’s an instinct. And most of the time it doesn’t bother me, but there are times where I feel so alone and weak that I could break.”

He paused. It felt more natural now, and he closed his eyes briefly in thought.

“I guess it hurts more than I’d expected. Even though I know I’m not alone, I still feel this way. But I know Ice is worse off. Or at least he used to be. I think he’s found himself a group of friends now. Maybe I’m worse than him. Because I’m in a better position, but he tries to help himself, while I just pity myself.”

Lukas laughed at this, briefly, bitterly.

“Even now. I sit here and feel pity. I have friends though. I have a family. Why do I feel so alone when these people mean so much to me?” Lukas shook his head, “Is it a betrayal to them? I care about them, but still.”

The stars bore no answer. Not that Lukas expected one. He wasn’t so stupid that he expected them to delight him with a response with their light. Yet every time he came out here, he did the same thing.

“I mean,” Lukas said, quieter than before, “Obviously there’s Ice. And Den, and Sverige, and Fin. They mean so much to me. We’ve been at odds before, yet still, we stick together. They mean the world to me. And there’s England and Romania. Despite their idiocy, I consider them friends. So why?”

He didn’t bother to explain his question. He merely bowed his head and close his eyes with another sigh. He let his words taper to a stop, and for himself to merely enjoy the nature around him. It was the same thing. He felt dull, empty almost, with that prevailing feel of loneliness. But something about the outdoors soothed the feeling, made that numbness feel a little less ever present. The stars were still that neutral observer, never ceasing their attention on him.

Ten minutes.

Somehow, that’s all it took for his phone to go off, and for Lukas to look down at it in surprise. It was vibrating in his pocket, and the sound of his ringtone disturbed the peace of nature. After a moment, his fingers slipped around the edges of it, pulling it out of the pocket.

Matthias’s contact picture was vibrant in the darkness around him, a picture that he had taken when Lukas was asleep. Lukas had his head on his shoulder, and Matthias was pressing a finger to his lips in a shushing motion as Lukas slept. Sometime later, he’d set it as his profile pic, and Lukas had never bothered to change it.

Seeing his contact brought a soft smile to Lukas’s lips, and he’d perched the phone next to his ear before he’d truly even processed it. There was a moment of shuffling noise, but then--

“Hey Norge! Is this a bad time?”

Lukas rolled his eyes at the voice, drawing his knees closer to his chest.

“Yes. It’s late, Den, why are you even still up?”

“Sorry, did I disturb your sleep?”

“No. I wasn’t sleeping. What do you want?” Lukas hadn’t intended the words to come out so harshly, but he was thankful Matthias didn’t seem to take them too badly. Maybe it was the mood. But hearing Matthias’s voice was comforting. Nice. Safe.

There was a brief laugh on the other end, and then--

“You need to stop being so imsoniac. It can’t be good for your health.”

A lot of things weren’t good for his health. Lukas knew that it didn’t matter anyway, because it wasn’t like he _could_ die. It was both the gift and curse of immortality--briefly, his mind wandered. Was it possible to get cancer, as a nation, and simply live with it? To be limited down to the barest sliver of who they were, and yet to be denied the chance at death? He was sure it was possible, though that begged the question of why so many of them hadn’t even had it yet.

“It’s not like it matters too much,” Lukas said instead, ignoring the deep, philosophical thoughts that swirled in his head, “The real question is, why are you still up?”

Matthias didn’t respond for a long moment.

“I wanted to hear your voice. I couldn’t sleep, just thinking about you. I miss you.”

His heart stuttered.

“You should go to sleep.”

Matthias laughed on the other end, but it was tired, and happy all at once.

“I can’t do that, not until you do,” Matthias said, “I’m not letting you neglect yourself, not tonight.”

The stars never stopped watching, and Lukas turned to them. He thought that, even in comparison to the gorgeous landscape of space, Matthias triumphed it all. And, he bit his lip at the thought.

“I’m not neglecting myself, Den.”

“I don’t believe that.”

So firm, yet still, so much like Matthias. Teasing. But patient. Understanding. How did Matthias even manage it? Lukas didn’t know. He just always seemed to fit so much into his words, so much emotion, so much _kindness_.

He was lonely, but Matthias’s call brought something back. A small flicker of life, maybe? Something to shine against the dark void of emptiness. Lukas wouldn’t mind that. Maybe it would be gone tomorrow. But for now, Matthias’s general presence made him feel just slightly less alone. Like maybe that he could be vulnerable.

Maybe that was why his next words were so quiet, so drawn into himself.

“Do you hate me?”

The moment they were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He wished more than anything that he could go back in time, and to grab them out of the air. He froze, debating just hanging up and leaving, not letting Matthias see any more of the weakness that he’d let escape.

There was a shaky breath on the other end.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Matthias said, pained, “I don’t--Norge, of course I don’t hate you. Why would I hate you? You’re my everything. All of you are. But you especially.”

Was it a lie? Lukas doubted it. But everything could be a lie. Lies that seemed to drip around him constantly. It wasn’t like everyone hated him--of course not, that would be stupid. But. What if?

“Please say something. Are you okay? Do you need me to fly over? I can do it, I mean, I have a meeting, but I can cancel,” Matthias paused, “Norge, please, just say something.

“I’m here.”

“I could never hate you. None of us could hate you! Don’t doubt yourself.”

Lukas nodded.

“Okay.”

How much to believe?

He shouldn’t have said anything. But Matthias was determined now. Determined to make things right. Like he always was.

“Den, trust me. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” And, before Matthias could protest, Lukas added on, “I’ll be fine. Just...don’t stop talking to me, okay? Tell me about your day or something.”

There was a quiet.

“Okay. I won’t. I’m glad that you’re okay. I’ll take your word for it.”

Matthias’s voice implied that he did anything but that. At least he was trying though. He’d respect Lukas’s wishes, though it wouldn’t surprise Lukas if he “just happened to be in town” within the next few days, to watch over to him, to talk.

So Matthias, in an attempt to talk, began ranting about something he’d done with Alfred and Gilbert over the last few days. Some mess of hijinks they’d gotten into, that had managed to make even the ever patient Matthew snap. Lukas would admit that he hadn’t quite listened to what they had gotten into, more distracted simply by the sound of Matthias’s voice. The story that the voice told, rather than the words.

It spoke of worry, but also love, but also nostalgic humor. It spoke more than the story itself could.

Lukas eventually began walking home, offering occasional quips to Matthias’s words. Humming in the right spots. Really, he just wanted to leave the judgement stares of the stars. The cold, ever watchful observers.

Beautiful. But silent onlookers. 

Home was a comfortable place. Messy, slightly, but not as bad as Emil’s place, Lukas knew. He ditched his shoes by the door, and collapsed into his bed, phone still tucked to his ear.

Sometime within Matthias’s rendition of a prank that he and Peter had done to Berwald, Lukas felt his consciousness drain. His responses had become duller, but at the same time, that hole in his heart felt less pressing. Lighter.

Like that loneliness and need was that much less with Matthias there. Not gone. But more comfortable. Like he could bare it.

Regardless, falling asleep to Matthias’s voice wasn’t that unpleasant. His heart felt light, at the sound. Happy. 

Granted, he was too far asleep to hear the soft last words that Matthias uttered before hanging up. _Goodnight, Norge. I love you._


End file.
